10 Minutes and all is changed
Well it’s done. Over. After 13 years, started by a hurricane, ended by one (sort of) a marriage is done. That is a long period of a life to have spent with another. Looking back while I detest a lot of what happened, I see too that there were good periods. We never really communicated. We never really worked together and there were lots of conflicts. I think it was not a good healthy relationship at any point. We were each too needy with our own issues. But one of the most wonderful things in my life occurred because of that relationship and much of it I wouldn’t take back if it meant losing him.
My son Mark is a beautiful loving intelligent son, as are the rest of my children. He has presented some problems along the way, none of which are his fault. But he’s gradually making progress away from them. His school work has dramatically improving and he doesn’t even need an IEP for science, math and social studies. He does well and participates in class. Actively engages in class activities and discussions and even loves reading! Not only that he is so thoughtful and caring that it is amazing to me.
But back to the subject at hand. A 13 year history, wiped clean in a 10 minute hearing. Six or seven questions later and all is done, sealed and delivered. That is in itself is sort of mind bending. The other thing that I had to deal with was the whole clarification of jurisdiction and what that meant. Since I had thought the divorce would deal with all aspects, particularly of child pieces (visitation, custody, decision making) I had brought documentation to present to the court to support what I wanted to happen. However, the judge cut me off saying it was all irrelevant. That nothing of that was applicable since my ex was not present and hadn’t filed. He was therefore, out of her jurisdiction and had no place in the preceedings. Sole custody and decision making were given to me, and visitation was not even an issue. Since A had done nothing to present his case, he’d made no response, etc, he was decided to be without relevance.
Yesterday, when I told him that he was furious. Always believing that I paint him to be a monster, he couldn’t believe and wouldn’t accept that I had nothing to do with the decision. That is pure and simple a matter of the fact that he had made no actions to take any part of the preceedings. And the court judged that to be that he had no interest in the final decisions. It didn’t matter. I was still the demoness out to destroy his life. However, now one nice things is that I really do not have to deal with him at all. Not his drama, his threats, his antics. It’s all done. In that 10 minutes that I’ve waited for, it made my life so much more simple.
Weirdness.
