Check in
Well, after what certainly felt like blood, some sweat, and a lot of tears, B and I have talked our way through things, and ironically I feel much better.
I had started to feel better anyway, because this blog is my way of exercising the demons of my bipolar. Getting out the awful truth of my utter despair, as ugly as it is, always lightens the load. As poisonous as it is on virtual paper, I know that when held inside it turns everything to gangrene and only feeds itself more. Letting it go dissipates its power.
However, I was still very concerned about what was to happen with B & I. I was still feeling strange about the club, and unsure of where things stood with both. So for 3 long hours we talked. I asked him to read because everything comes out so much better in my writing - I don’t communicate well verbally. But he hates reading things online and as he says I write books… Some things I just can’t change. So instead he asked me to tell him. In my opinion it would have taken much less time to have him read it all, but instead i did my best to tell him all of what i was feeling. We both got frustrated at times, but the thing is we never gave up. We kept talking and we never got mad.
So in spite of Squire Steve’s passing, I do feel better. So if you were worried - you can stop now.
Anber said on Sep 14, 2006 @ 1:45 am
Steve’s poor family. They have a hard time ahead of them. One realizes what is important in life and how fragile life is. I am sure he was a good man. I am Sad.
broke said on Sep 19, 2006 @ 12:38 pm
“As poisonous as it is on virtual paper, I know that when held inside it turns everything to gangrene and only feeds itself more. Letting it go dissipates its power.”
Yes, you’re right. Thanks for reminding me of this, and take care,
B
Saphyre said on Sep 20, 2006 @ 6:35 pm
Thank you both for your kind thoughts. This week has been one of the hardest of my life, and as you will see from the post i’m about to write, it does mean a lot to me to hear that someone is touched by what I wrote.