Awaking from a dream
I have awoken from the dream. Like all dreams it was bittersweet. It was the most beautiful, and like a previous post at the end I did crash and crumble, moreso than I have in a long time. But only because I flew so very high, even if for so short a time. The dream awoke me to the passion beating in my heart, the desire that lives in my soul, the buried love and wants and needs that had so long ago been put away, forgotten.
I loved. I do still love. Yet, I found a soul that is not yet ready to go down the path I am walking. For a brief shining moment he loved me deeply and with his entire being, but it was not meant to be, whether it was a choice he made, or something that was flawed. It matters not. Through the confusion, the miscommunication that increased as things became more difficult, I still saw what we had.
And for that I am grateful. For now I know that while that dream has ended, I am awake and alive. And awake I shall find what it took a dream to realize I still wanted and needed. Tremendous passion, tremendous love, the gift of total submission, the joy of giving, playfulness, wonder, laughter…. love.
And with the awakening, I was shown that there are others who stood in the shadows waiting to show me their love. I am loved beyond measure, and in many ways for the first time in my life I have found family that means more to me than anything else in the world. I would walk into a fire for them, stand at the gates of hell, bare my soul and give all that I have - just as they would for me.
Crash and burn? Yes, there was some of that. But as a phoenix I have arisen to a more beautiful now. Even without the illusion that was him.
Tags: love, relationship, change
