Ravings of a BiPolar Gothic Witch
     Occasional commentary, observations and tidbits as well as other random thoughts

Now here’s a real surprise (NOT!):

Ok, so today is the day I’m obsessing and everything.  But I’ve been looking for a music player for my blog that wouldn’t be obtrusive (obnoxiously plays whether you want it to or not) and that plays more than ONE song (ugg).  So for those of you who wonder what things I like to listen to since music is absolutely so much a part of my life - select my station over there in the side bar and just push play!

As a side note - those of you out there who are bipolars - what effect does music have on your mood?  Am I the only one who uses it to help me?  That has known forever that it amplifies whatever mood I tend to be in, and if I’m starting to feel depressed that maybe I should turn off the IPOD?  Well then again - if you listen to my station you’ll see that I’m not exactly into happy happy joy joy music… Can you say ick?

Anyway - comment me?  Music important/not important?  What do you use it for?  Does it help?  Am I the only one who could dance until they literally collapse when manic?  That listens to her ipod without stop when depressed?  That dances her way through housecleaning, and uses music to focus on her work or studies so that the rest of the world gets tuned out?  Any of this ringing a bell?  Let me know… I hate being alone.

Technorati Tags: Music, Radio Stations, Mood

Ok, so I didn’t write like I thought yesterday.  Mostly due to the fact that I did my work, and then got OFF the computer trying desperately not to think about the fact that I didn’t get the job.  It worked mostly.  I have friends who are keeping an eye on me and keeping me sane.  Both my boys are wonderful and give me hugs a lot. 

The day I didn’t get the job, I got another tech screen interview in the afternoon.  It went well, and we finished up that part, and then the recruiter said "I noticed you worked at [insert company name here], I wonder if my boss knows you."  So I asked her when he did work there and what his name was (the company was very small and didn’t last long… so it was pretty likely).  She said his name… uhhh - yeah he was one of my team members on my network management team…  I told her to tell him hi.  Apparently that made a difference.  I got an email early yesterday morning (less than 24 hours after the cursed event) that wanted to set up an interview ASAP.  Said ex team mate actually personally delivered my resume to this guy, and while they were in the midst of interviews already, he wanted to go ahead and put me in quickly, and get all the people he needed to be there to interview me well (i.e.:  it’s going to be a grueling tech interview).  I have it today.  Yesterday I was pretty calm about the whole thing, but this morning I woke up and anxiety has my stomach in knots, my mouth is dry, I’m trembling…  I keep doing deep breathing but you know what it’s just not working!  Not to mention I apparently have done something to further piss off my body because 2 nights ago I started having serious pain in my lower left back (like right above my butt) and when I move it shoots sideways and down into my hip.  It hurts to sit, walk, move, and sleep.  And it is getting worse.  A friend is coming over this morning to do a mini massage to see if we can’t free up the muscle that is apparently got a death grip on my sciatic nerve.  I’m supposed to go on an all day ride on Saturday (my first with the club and I am really excited) on Saturday, but if my body doesn’t get on board I’m going to have to back out cuz I don’t want to cripple B’s fun.  Considering I could really use a day on the bike, I am none too happy about that either. 

So to save myself (and you) from further bitching and brooding I was surfing blogs this morning and I found this meme (how does one actually say that anyway?  Me Me?) at How They Remind Me.  I don’t usually like these things but this one caught my eye.  So if you don’t want to know more about me then go read somewhere else.  Because this will hopefully keep me from going to throw up from being so anxious.

GRUB-OLOGY
What is your salad dressing of choice? Vinagrette
What is your favorite fast food restaurant? Wendys
What is your favorite sit down restaurant? I dont have a favorite. I love trying new stuff.

On average, what size tip do you leave at a restaurant? 15%. Maybe a little more.
What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick of? Fruit
Name three foods you detest above all others: Liver, Oysters, Head cheese (just knowing what it is makes me retch)
What is your favorite dish to order in a Chinese restaurant? Cashew Chicken
What are your pizza toppings of choice? Ham and pineapple
What do you like to put on your toast? peanut butter.
What is your favorite type of gum? None.

TECH-OLOGY
Number of contacts in your cell phone? Have no clue
Number of contacts in your email address book? Hundreds.
What is your wallpaper on your computer? A fireworks photo I took.
What is your screensaver on your computer? It’s blank but password protected
Are there naked pictures saved on your computer? Nope
How many land line phones do you have in your house? Just one
How many televisions are in your house? 3
What kitchen appliance do you use the least? Waffle maker
What is the radio station you listen to the most? ALICE
How many sex toys do you own that require batteries? Just a couple

BI-OLOGY
What do you consider to be your best physical attribute? My back
Are you right handed or left handed? Righty
Do you like your smile? Never
Have you ever had anything removed from your body? My wisdom teeth
Would you like to? Yes
Do you prefer to read when you go to the bathroom? Yes usually, why waste time?
Which of your five senses do you think is keenest? Smell
When was the last time you had a cavity? I have one right now.
What is the heaviest item you lift regularly? Myself
Have you ever been knocked unconscious? Close, but no cigar

MISC-OLOGY
If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die? I’m not going to die.
If you could change your first name, what would you change it to? Been there, done that, have the name
How do you express your artistic side? On what day?  Dancing, photography, writing, singing…
What color do you think you look best in? Black
How long do you think you could last in a medium security prison? I’d probably have a melt down before I got there
Have you ever swallowed a non-food item by mistake? Nope
If we werent bound by societys conventions, do you have a relative you would make a pass at? Yuck!
How often do you go to church? It’s kind of like school, regularly during the fall/winter/spring, not at all in the summer
Have you ever saved someones life? Yes
Has someone ever saved yours? Yes

DARE-OLOGY
Would you walk naked for a half mile down a public street for $100,000? Are you kidding?  Right now I’d probably do it for $10,000
Would you kiss a member of the same sex for $100? Who needs money for that, but if you want to pay me, sure!
Would you have sex with a member of the same sex for $10,000? Yes.
Would you allow one of your little fingers to be cut off for $200,000? Never
Would you never blog again for $50,000? I could try, but I’d probably have to give the money back
Would you pose naked in a magazine for $250,000? Not that I’d ever be asked, but in a heartbeat
Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000? Nope
Would you, without fear of punishment, take a human life for $1,000,000? Never, wait could I chose the person?
Would you shave your head and get your entire body waxed for $5,000? Nah, but I would if you offered more (that’s worse than walking down the street naked!)
Would you give up watching television for a year for $25,000? Completely, I’d even throw mine out the window.

Technorati Tags: Memes, -Ology, Anxiety

Thanks to Stacy a new blogger I found on BlogMad, I took the DNA profiling test.  Ok, so I’m bored.  It’s Monday morning, early, the day before July 4th which most people have taken off work, and I’m stuck at my computer working… so sue me.  Anyway, I found it pretty interesting in a lot of ways.  One surprising result in particular, is that I have (apparently) more masculinity than femininity!  Certainly that explains why I am in IT and why I’m pursuing a physics degree.  I’m not necessarily surprised at the result, just that it is so apparent…  I fit in with men better than women and always have.  In fact, the first real female friends I have I only bonded with in the last year or so.  Before that all my friends were pretty much male, even in high school.  Wasn’t really popular with the girls, and that didn’t help (lets just say I learned the meaning of the word "slut" before most girls - and I didn’t even deserve it). 

But considering I wear skirts the majority of the time, really love dressing up as a goth (but very female goth) and have a great time flirting and playing "the girl" it still surprised me.  No one who has ever seen me could accuse me of being butch… even if I wore leather pants and a bandana.  Just not how I come across…  I have a feeling it would surprise most people I know… but then again maybe not.  Any of you that read me and know me (or those of you who "virtually" want to judge from my writing) - chime in.  Do you think I’m a guy in disguise?  A drag queen?  I think my children might quibble that point, but is that how I come across?

I do have to let you in on a secret however - I didn’t really score high in either category - I was 14 on masculinity and 6 on femininity so I guess my gender identity just isn’t that important to me - and that fits. 

If you are really interested in the rest of the report here is the link: My Personal Dna Report

For even more fun, assess yourself and then compare it to mine! Go here.  Hey friends - and you know who your are - let me know how it turns out…

Technorati Tags: DNA Profile, Personality, Tests, Quizzes

Ok I adopted a Tiger. I’m a chinese water tiger, and thought it was appropriate. I would have done a wolf, since those of you who know me know how appropriate that would be, but it just wasn’t as cute, and I’m in a cutsie mood. Considering I am supposed to be in bed sleeping, and instead here I am cruising the internet for fun things for my blog… well it’s not surprising I picked up a little sapphire colored Tiger. It could be worse. People used to get bored and go out and pick up the clap… well maybe they still do. Luckily I have my computer to amuse me. So here is Selvaggio. I’ll let you figure out the name… Click on her to pet her and make her purr. Sometimes she’ll actually play with your mouse… and of course under more you can feed her - she likes that… Hope you have some fun with her.

Ok, I’m having a little trouble with this one.  Anyone think it’s real?

For the whole scoop on Genpets

Technorati Tags: Truly Weird, Science, Toys, Genetic Engineering

Well this picked me up tonight. I’d like to think it’s true - it’s certainly how I’d like to believe I am.

You Are From Neptune

You are dreamy and mystical, with a natural psychic ability. You love music, poetry, dance, and (most of all) the open sea. Your soul is filled with possibilities, and your heart overflows with compassion. You can be in a room full of friendly people and feel all alone. If you don’t get carried away with one idea, your spiritual nature will see you through anything.

What Planet Are You From?

Well, with whatever you stock you put into those silly quizzes and such, here is another one (but I knew it all along):

You’re a witchy woman! Chances are that you see
Morticia Addams as a role model, and your
wardrobe sports a fair amount of black. The
other mothers at school pick up may look
askance, but your kids already know that the
judgement of others isn’t what counts.

What kind of a freaky mother are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Since I wrote something so catty and bitter, I decided to have some fun. I don’t know who thinks up all these quiz things, but some of them are quite interesting. This one I found pretty close to how I see myself, and the pic is awesome!

What lies inside your soul (anime pics)

Your dark and maybe even lonely. You long for love, friendship and trust yet you sow no signs of wanting it. You could tell whether people are lying to you and hate it when they pose and act any thing but themselves. Dont let anyone change how you are.
Take this quiz!

Quizilla |
Join

| Make A Quiz | More Quizzes | Grab Code

Yep this dog actually has won the title for the World’s Ugliest Dog 2 years in a row!

‘nuf said.